This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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