Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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