You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
