i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
