Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
