This girl is more easily done than said...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
