Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
