i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
