A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
