she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
