I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
