well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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