Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
