im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
