It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I had to cum in my sink.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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