Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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