i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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