Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My cat gives me a boner
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
