Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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