True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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