i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
