Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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