loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're like the curious george of whores
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
