nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
