As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
