He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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