Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
