The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The adults are the big ones right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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