benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
