HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
