Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
