I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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