I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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