i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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