I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
