We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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