try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
