Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
