You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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