Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
