I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
