worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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