No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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