can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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