I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
