I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
