I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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