Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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