Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
