she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
